Waiting isn’t the answer for speech delays…if you don’t want it to be!
It is exhausting to parent a late talker.
While some of the exhaustion is due to constant guessing games – “Do you want this, or this, how about this” – as you hold up every item within eyesight of your child; some is worrying about what other people think (yeah I know we aren’t supposed to care but that comparison pull is strong); and some may be from walking on eggshells to avoid another meltdown.
For most of us though the ultimate exhaustion inducer is the waiting.
What are we even waiting for?
Waiting for our tiny human to figure it out,
Waiting for them to fall far enough behind their peers to qualify for speech services.
Waiting for a spot to open up at the local speech clinic.
Waiting for someone to agree with you there is a problem and you aren’t “being dramatic”.
It feels like we are always waiting for something.
The honest truth is, you’re waiting for someone to save you, to save your child.
As a Speech-Language Pathologist, who’s helped hundreds of families, the feeling of desperation in the space of the unknown and waiting, I did not fully understand until I had my own late talkers.
I remember someone saying to me once: “It’s just speech, it could be worse”. They looked at me like I was dramatic and should be grateful.
I think people we love say things like this to try and make us feel better. But the fact is, it minimizes what we are feeling. It keeps us frozen and waiting. I remember wanting someone to say instead “I’m so sorry, this really sucks”.
So here is me telling you: “I’m so sorry my friend – speech delays suck.”
Because after all, it’s not just speech. It’s communication and connection with the people we are supposed to keep safe and help thrive.
It’s the deep yearning to hear your child say, “Mamma” or “Dada” or “I love you.”
It’s the helplessness as you watch your child recover from a massive tantrum all because they wanted a yogurt and you couldn’t figure it out.
It’s watching them play near peers instead of with peers because they aren’t even understood by other tiny humans.
Ultimately it feels like we are failing them.
Truth my friend, nothing happens when we sit in this place of fear and waiting! I get it, it’s tough, but you AND your child deserve better.
The good news is there are MANY things you can do at home.
You don’t have to keep waiting around for someone else to save you…you get to save yourself!
I know, I know – it feels overwhelming to start, but I have more than a pep talk today my friend!
Before I get into action steps for you, I want you to remember: this is NOT your fault!
Late talkers need more purposeful language-building support than our kids who just “figure it out” – which is why I’m excited to say that today is the day you get to take back your power!
You don't have to wait around for someone else to take the lead – YOU can make a significant impact on your child's speech development right at home.
4 Action Steps To Help Your Late Talker At Home
1. Decrease your question asking ❓
Kids begin by imitating our words and phrases, so if you are only asking yes or no questions, the only practice they get is responding with yes and no.
Instead, act like a sportscaster by talking out loud about what your child is doing and seeing, or act like a narrator and talk out loud about what you are doing, seeing, smelling, and feeling. It feels counterintuitive but modeling words without forcing a response is the best solution when starting this journey at home.
2. Use more than nouns 🗣️
We tend to label items and ask our kids to repeat us, especially when we are worried about speech development.
This can be a tough cookie to swallow but this strategy is not at all exciting or motivating for our children…hence the frequent refusals and meltdowns.
Instead, use a variety of verbs and adjectives along with your nouns.
Two-year-olds need all types of words to start building sentences for communication.
Imagine a day when you only speak in nouns… very difficult to get your message across isn't it?!
3. Give them more silence and space 🤫
This concept is often hard for parents to grasp.
We call this “wait time” and the reason wait time is important is because if you are talking, your child cannot.
Adults tend to be uncomfortable with the silence, filling it with more information or rephrasing sentences. The TRUTH is after your child hears you say new vocabulary words or show them new play ideas, they need the opportunity of quiet to generate their own ideas and attempt new words.
4. Celebrate the try 🎉
This is probably the MOST important thing you can do when working with a late talker.
Imagine every time you tried to do a new hard thing, someone corrected you. They told you it wasn’t good enough, and made you do it again.
What would you do? You would likely stop trying!
So, celebrate all forms of communication including pointing, signing, gestures and verbal - and accept it as successful communication!
Give yourself and your child a break from the constant correction. We shouldn’t be stopping to correct speech sounds or pronunciation until your child is saying more than 60 words independently anyway.
So until that time, you can simply comment the correct word or phrase and then move right along.
Child says “da”, you say “dog - hi dog”
Child says “goo” for water, you say “water, more water”
Working on speech at home with your tiny human, takes repetition and commitment.
You likely have to do things differently than you have been, which means building a new habit, which takes time. My encouragement to you so that this feels less overwhelming is to pick just one of the four things above to START!
Do that one thing until your confidence and habits grow, and then add in another!
By choosing one at a time you can avoid the feeling of overwhelm and then frequently “I give up” response; especially since you know waiting (aka doing nothing) is not the answer. You’ve got this!!
More Resources To Use With Your Late Talker
Want some ideas on how to apply these skills to play routines, favorite toys, or even everyday activities?
This blog post is about creating speech routines which is an absolute must-read for any parent helping their child at home!
Additionally, if you’re in search for weekly speech support, CLICK HERE to sign up for my Language and Lattes Playdates! We meet in your inbox every Friday with helpful information, first dibs for workshops, and access to email-only exclusives.
As always you’re doing wonderful!
Post inspired by this TT of mine :)